Queen Juicy J

I’m shaking, and inside there are so many voices screaming. So many memories playing out across my eyes so that I can’t even look up. I can’t bear to see his face change from neutral to angry... *** It’s been another whirlwind weekend, another holiday, another house full. The week leading up to it has not been the easiest. To be blunt, emotionally, I have been a fucking wreck. My stability has been compromised, I’m unsure of where I stand and what’s to come. Work is hellishly roller-coastered with highs and lows, shocks and pain. He’s been away with his wife to her family, and I am keenly aware of how important this is to him. She will be accessible to him in a way she usually is not. This is a time for them, for their family, and to steal moments as they can. Even saying hello in the morning feels a little guilty. That’s not my place and this was not my time, and I want to be more than supportive during a rather tumultuous time. I wanted to go above and beyond, even as I was str...

I remember being six, and reading a story in my elementary school reader about the magical age of seven and how excited I was that I would get to be this magical number. I can feel the glossy smooth pages under my fingers still, and the brightly colored drawing of a girl with a cupcake above the wide-spaced paragraphs of the short story meant to help us learn how to read. That was the first time I really remember anything about birthdays. *** I wake up on Saturday next to him, rubbing my eyes and recalling my brain back to my body. I've asked not to make choices, to have someone else at the helm. It feels a little bit forced, so I try not to push that too hard. I'm given two options for outdoors, and one for indoors. I want to be out, I want to be doing something, so I choose the zoo after a little careful thought. No doubt Fort Sumter would have been just as good, but I wanted engagement and happiness across the board. I chose right. When figuring out the cars, the hea...