2018 Year In Review
I used to write these instead of New Year resolutions since a recap was better for starting with a vow I’ll break in a month or less. So, I suppose without any further ado, my 2018 review.
January
It started out pretty par for the course. I met a guy named Mike and Matt had been dating a woman named Chasity. Things were going alright, pretty lukewarm in the poly department. I finished training in my job and my truck was still bright and shined new. We saw a Southern ice storm that had us locked in our house for the first few days of the year, but things warmed up fairly quickly again. My big focus was getting a couple of fire departments online and briefed on social media, but for the most part it was pretty sedentary and we were adjusting to our new life.
We had two red-tail hawks, birds I often associate with my brother, land on the back fence of my yard one afternoon. I took that to be a happy omen of things to come. A blessing, as it were.
February
Things with Mike fizzled for me. Between the constant fights, his passive aggressive behavior or his clinginess, I couldn’t deal and by the middle of the month it was over. He became the most recent in my ‘flavor of the week’ relationships I usually have, and I stuck to whatever FWBs I was managing. Work was going well although it started to hit some of the harder points that would carry over to the fall. A terrible doctor, a slew of staffing issues and mis-management began a hellish few months that would end in my collapse.
Matt got to drive the truck for the first time, we explored Brookgreen Gardens and I finally convinced Matt to switch to iPhone. it took us a couple of frustrating days but we walked out with the latest and greatest and have been enjoying them every since.
March
Chasity spoiled me with a lot of little gifts about mermaids just for funnies (seriously, my metamours are amazing). Because we were busy with work, we had a delayed Valentine’s Day staycation where we got a room at a local B & B and enjoyed a Romantic three day stay focused on Myrtle Beach. We celebrated 12 years officially dating (but 14 together including a brief hiatus), and I claimed my work wife Kimber.
My favorite doctor at work gave me a Disney card signed by everyone and a cupcake, even though he was early, making this probably one of the only jobs I’ve ever held that made me feel important and included. As the weather warmed up the cats got very used to the amount of sun and fresh air they had access to, and keeping them cooped up became much harder!
April
Matt took his usual conference in Florida just before my birthday, and so it was one of the only times I’ve ever woken completely alone on that celebration. It was when I first began to really feel the pull of independence that would later in the year develop more fully. Usually his conferences were a difficult time for me, but instead I was able to embrace it and enjoy it, spending time with friends.
I hit my weight loss goal of 40 pounds, the first real goal I’d given myself when I started, and looked out towards future goals. I didn’t care how long it was going to take me, I just felt very proud that I’d managed it so far and could see it through.
I turned 38, not particularly enjoying how my age is creeping ever higher. Considering what I’ve done to celebrate before, it was markedly subdued, with a little birthday dinner for myself and Matt being it. Was I getting old? Was life losing the magic after all it had been through?
May
My cat became known as the Unholy Terror at work, threatening to take down my favorite doctor and vet assistant in one fell swoop. Work, unfortunately, was going from bad to worse, the only bright spot being that making such a huge fuss over a corgi led to my first photo shoot and a couple of amazing friends. All because I had to give his little corgi face all my kisses and begged to let me have him for the afternoon at work.
I joined Matt’s regular trivia Thursday group and made a couple of lady friends to go see chick flick movies with. It ended up petering out but for a while it was pretty solid. We still talk about reuniting but work schedules in academia aren’t very kind to social lives.
We bought patio furniture and lights so I could turn my back porch into a little sanctuary. It’s still one of my most faovrite places to sit and drink coffee on my days off, curled up and watching the wildlife. My love life stayed pretty much on pause, dabbling with FWBs and going for coffee but then never texting back or making myself available. By this point Matt and Chasity were on a break as well, dealing with a bunch of their own issues. I mostly avoided it and focused on work.
My favorite doctor left for private practice and broke my heart. On his final day we gathered at a local pub and celebrated working together. It was bittersweet and as I got up to leave he pulled me tightly to him in a hug he’d never given me before, put his hands on my shoulders and told me that I was one of the most valuable assets the company had, and that they should give me all the respect I had more than earned. It was some of the highest praise I’ve ever received and in front of everyone. He still drops in to check on me now and again.
June
Boy, what a month! It began as a sort of shitshow at work, which dominated everything. I couldn’t keep up with any socialness and things were spinning out of control. During this time, though, I got a message on a dating app and even though I would go days between replies, he persisted. Enough that I was impressed even while feeling bad that I was continuosly unable to keep up writing.
Matt and I celebrated 7 years of marriage in June, having dinner at the same place we’d eaten at while house hunting the year before. Work was becoming almost intolerable, but I was managing to get through and counting down to my September visit home. Our birds helped plant sunflowers which started to become my favorite flower, and things were taking on a yellow hue mid-month. With all the sun and all the possibility, it was coming to represent all the new warmth and accomplishment.
On the 28th, my life changed.
The guy I’d been chatting with asked me on a date. A real, honest-to-goodness date, not coffee or meeting up. And I almost didn’t go!Work was brutal, I hadn’t had much luck in love and I wasn’t really looking for a new flavor of the week to get involved in. But life rarely goes the way we want it to, no?
I showed up expecting a quick little dinner. I ended up with a game changer.
July
Life picked up tenfold. Matt and Chasity were back on, I was tearing up dating life with Travis, and work continued to beat me down. It’s no surprise that things played out as they did, but I wouldn’t change them. I learned so much so fast.
I started this blog, Matt turned 35, and we went from having a very quiet and sedated life to a whirlwind of love, life, and adventure seemingly overnight. I went to the 4th of July fireworks at a nearby tourist site and ended up terrified when half way through the fireworks someone started screaming about a gunman. Women and children were fleeing and crying, men yelling and police saying to evacuate quickly. I had us out fast, and it turned out to be a false alarm, but during those moments between knowing I was in danger and learning it wasn’t real, I thought of only a couple of people, and that was when I knew he was different. That was the affirmation, the moment of “Oh... this isn’t some hot burning, fast fling.”
On the 25th we marked the 15th anniversary of my brother’s tragic death. I did a lot of reflecting on how my life has changed since then, who I am today. Fifteen years ago, life took away so much. This year it gave me so much back. Am I thankful enough?
August
Matt finally learned what a manual car wash was all about! Nothing feels better than a pressure wash. Work careened into hell and only my personal life kept me afloat. Travis planned a surprise concert date to Hootie and the Blowfish, we went camping for his birthday so he and friends could white water raft. This inspired plans to camp this upcoming summer. My life continued to change and morph into this new family and this new tribe.
By mid-month I burned out at work, hitting the wall both figuratively and literally. It would be a two and a half month break until changes were implemented and I recovered enough to return. We held a house-warming party, and the rest of the month seemed to be largely swallowed by Michigan plans.
I also reached my second major weight loss goal, losing 55 pounds and being back under the 200 pound mark. Considering I never thought I’d see that again, it felt pretty special.
September
My niece flew down and rode with me on my epically long 15 hour road trip north. I got maybe 80% of the way before I began to really feel it, but I managed and was happy to see my sister. I spent a week camping on fire grounds, taking photos and feeling like a celebrity, then a week to enjoy my family and the cabin. This was the year my mother did her absolute best to try and accept my lifestyle and while it will probably always be a struggle, some days are easier than others and I’m still really thankful for her support on this visit.
While I was in Michigan, South Carolina faced Hurricane Florence and Matt boogied out to go visit his mom and dad. Something he hadn’t done in years. With our cats in tow. It wound up being that he would have been able to join us up north because of the time his university was closed, but we couldn’t bank on that and kept our separate vacation. He did, however, fly up to Michigan to help me drive back and so we had a little road trip to ourselves, stopping in Mount Pleaasant, WV on the way.
October
What a wild month!!
Everything geared up for the annual Halloween bash, and Travis’s house underwent a huge transformation. Each weekend a different event took place, from a baby shower to a birthday party to actual Halloween. It was an event to remember in a month to remember. I dressed as Poison Ivy and soaked up all the attention I could ask for. Then capped it off by taking the kids trick-or-treating. It sounds so little on paper, but it was one of the fullest months on record!
November
[under construction]
January
It started out pretty par for the course. I met a guy named Mike and Matt had been dating a woman named Chasity. Things were going alright, pretty lukewarm in the poly department. I finished training in my job and my truck was still bright and shined new. We saw a Southern ice storm that had us locked in our house for the first few days of the year, but things warmed up fairly quickly again. My big focus was getting a couple of fire departments online and briefed on social media, but for the most part it was pretty sedentary and we were adjusting to our new life.
We had two red-tail hawks, birds I often associate with my brother, land on the back fence of my yard one afternoon. I took that to be a happy omen of things to come. A blessing, as it were.
February
Things with Mike fizzled for me. Between the constant fights, his passive aggressive behavior or his clinginess, I couldn’t deal and by the middle of the month it was over. He became the most recent in my ‘flavor of the week’ relationships I usually have, and I stuck to whatever FWBs I was managing. Work was going well although it started to hit some of the harder points that would carry over to the fall. A terrible doctor, a slew of staffing issues and mis-management began a hellish few months that would end in my collapse.
Matt got to drive the truck for the first time, we explored Brookgreen Gardens and I finally convinced Matt to switch to iPhone. it took us a couple of frustrating days but we walked out with the latest and greatest and have been enjoying them every since.
March
Chasity spoiled me with a lot of little gifts about mermaids just for funnies (seriously, my metamours are amazing). Because we were busy with work, we had a delayed Valentine’s Day staycation where we got a room at a local B & B and enjoyed a Romantic three day stay focused on Myrtle Beach. We celebrated 12 years officially dating (but 14 together including a brief hiatus), and I claimed my work wife Kimber.
My favorite doctor at work gave me a Disney card signed by everyone and a cupcake, even though he was early, making this probably one of the only jobs I’ve ever held that made me feel important and included. As the weather warmed up the cats got very used to the amount of sun and fresh air they had access to, and keeping them cooped up became much harder!
April
Matt took his usual conference in Florida just before my birthday, and so it was one of the only times I’ve ever woken completely alone on that celebration. It was when I first began to really feel the pull of independence that would later in the year develop more fully. Usually his conferences were a difficult time for me, but instead I was able to embrace it and enjoy it, spending time with friends.
I hit my weight loss goal of 40 pounds, the first real goal I’d given myself when I started, and looked out towards future goals. I didn’t care how long it was going to take me, I just felt very proud that I’d managed it so far and could see it through.
I turned 38, not particularly enjoying how my age is creeping ever higher. Considering what I’ve done to celebrate before, it was markedly subdued, with a little birthday dinner for myself and Matt being it. Was I getting old? Was life losing the magic after all it had been through?
May
My cat became known as the Unholy Terror at work, threatening to take down my favorite doctor and vet assistant in one fell swoop. Work, unfortunately, was going from bad to worse, the only bright spot being that making such a huge fuss over a corgi led to my first photo shoot and a couple of amazing friends. All because I had to give his little corgi face all my kisses and begged to let me have him for the afternoon at work.
I joined Matt’s regular trivia Thursday group and made a couple of lady friends to go see chick flick movies with. It ended up petering out but for a while it was pretty solid. We still talk about reuniting but work schedules in academia aren’t very kind to social lives.
We bought patio furniture and lights so I could turn my back porch into a little sanctuary. It’s still one of my most faovrite places to sit and drink coffee on my days off, curled up and watching the wildlife. My love life stayed pretty much on pause, dabbling with FWBs and going for coffee but then never texting back or making myself available. By this point Matt and Chasity were on a break as well, dealing with a bunch of their own issues. I mostly avoided it and focused on work.
My favorite doctor left for private practice and broke my heart. On his final day we gathered at a local pub and celebrated working together. It was bittersweet and as I got up to leave he pulled me tightly to him in a hug he’d never given me before, put his hands on my shoulders and told me that I was one of the most valuable assets the company had, and that they should give me all the respect I had more than earned. It was some of the highest praise I’ve ever received and in front of everyone. He still drops in to check on me now and again.
June
Boy, what a month! It began as a sort of shitshow at work, which dominated everything. I couldn’t keep up with any socialness and things were spinning out of control. During this time, though, I got a message on a dating app and even though I would go days between replies, he persisted. Enough that I was impressed even while feeling bad that I was continuosly unable to keep up writing.
Matt and I celebrated 7 years of marriage in June, having dinner at the same place we’d eaten at while house hunting the year before. Work was becoming almost intolerable, but I was managing to get through and counting down to my September visit home. Our birds helped plant sunflowers which started to become my favorite flower, and things were taking on a yellow hue mid-month. With all the sun and all the possibility, it was coming to represent all the new warmth and accomplishment.
On the 28th, my life changed.
The guy I’d been chatting with asked me on a date. A real, honest-to-goodness date, not coffee or meeting up. And I almost didn’t go!Work was brutal, I hadn’t had much luck in love and I wasn’t really looking for a new flavor of the week to get involved in. But life rarely goes the way we want it to, no?
I showed up expecting a quick little dinner. I ended up with a game changer.
July
Life picked up tenfold. Matt and Chasity were back on, I was tearing up dating life with Travis, and work continued to beat me down. It’s no surprise that things played out as they did, but I wouldn’t change them. I learned so much so fast.
I started this blog, Matt turned 35, and we went from having a very quiet and sedated life to a whirlwind of love, life, and adventure seemingly overnight. I went to the 4th of July fireworks at a nearby tourist site and ended up terrified when half way through the fireworks someone started screaming about a gunman. Women and children were fleeing and crying, men yelling and police saying to evacuate quickly. I had us out fast, and it turned out to be a false alarm, but during those moments between knowing I was in danger and learning it wasn’t real, I thought of only a couple of people, and that was when I knew he was different. That was the affirmation, the moment of “Oh... this isn’t some hot burning, fast fling.”
On the 25th we marked the 15th anniversary of my brother’s tragic death. I did a lot of reflecting on how my life has changed since then, who I am today. Fifteen years ago, life took away so much. This year it gave me so much back. Am I thankful enough?
August
Matt finally learned what a manual car wash was all about! Nothing feels better than a pressure wash. Work careened into hell and only my personal life kept me afloat. Travis planned a surprise concert date to Hootie and the Blowfish, we went camping for his birthday so he and friends could white water raft. This inspired plans to camp this upcoming summer. My life continued to change and morph into this new family and this new tribe.
By mid-month I burned out at work, hitting the wall both figuratively and literally. It would be a two and a half month break until changes were implemented and I recovered enough to return. We held a house-warming party, and the rest of the month seemed to be largely swallowed by Michigan plans.
I also reached my second major weight loss goal, losing 55 pounds and being back under the 200 pound mark. Considering I never thought I’d see that again, it felt pretty special.
September
My niece flew down and rode with me on my epically long 15 hour road trip north. I got maybe 80% of the way before I began to really feel it, but I managed and was happy to see my sister. I spent a week camping on fire grounds, taking photos and feeling like a celebrity, then a week to enjoy my family and the cabin. This was the year my mother did her absolute best to try and accept my lifestyle and while it will probably always be a struggle, some days are easier than others and I’m still really thankful for her support on this visit.
While I was in Michigan, South Carolina faced Hurricane Florence and Matt boogied out to go visit his mom and dad. Something he hadn’t done in years. With our cats in tow. It wound up being that he would have been able to join us up north because of the time his university was closed, but we couldn’t bank on that and kept our separate vacation. He did, however, fly up to Michigan to help me drive back and so we had a little road trip to ourselves, stopping in Mount Pleaasant, WV on the way.
October
What a wild month!!
Everything geared up for the annual Halloween bash, and Travis’s house underwent a huge transformation. Each weekend a different event took place, from a baby shower to a birthday party to actual Halloween. It was an event to remember in a month to remember. I dressed as Poison Ivy and soaked up all the attention I could ask for. Then capped it off by taking the kids trick-or-treating. It sounds so little on paper, but it was one of the fullest months on record!
November
[under construction]
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